Processing the Process - Part 1

I don’t know if this is a “thank goodness this is almost over” feeling or “wasn’t it just yesterday when” feeling, but with three weeks left in this heck of a year, there is some feeling flurrying around in my brain.

Change is an understatement for what we have all gone through this year, both collectively and individually. The ways we “normally” connect, come together, and celebrate are unrecognizable to our past selves, naively believing that bar outings and birthday parties were endless and guaranteed. The way we see ourselves and our impact in the world is different too. People who once considered themselves unaffected or uninvolved with societal issues have learned to raise their voices for what they believe in.

Look back at the person you were a year ago. Wild, right? Do you remember not having bangs or self-dyed hair? Do you remember what the bottom half of the bodega person’s face looks like? Do you remember not actively caring about Black Lives Matter, police reform, or abolishing ICE?

A therapist once told me there are two types of change: circumstantial change and intentional change. People have no control over circumstantial change. The world will continue to shift and grow no matter how much we beg for it to just take a freaking break. Winter will be colder than summer, people will pass away, and hometowns won’t look exactly like home anymore as the years go on. There are the circumstances of living that we influence, and as your local connoisseur of control, I can get really wrapped up in those aspects of life. Whether it be the wind that blows the coffee out of my hand or the back of the head that triggers a PTSD attack, I wish I could simply get a grasp on the constant circumstantial change that occurs each day.

Then, there is intentional change. Intentional change is intentional – believe it or not – decisions made by you, me, and each individual person that affects how we will interpret and continue in our world, both in the short and long term. Recently, I changed my morning routine to add five to ten minutes of meditation and a daily Bible devotional reading. These two intentional changes allow me to ground myself at the start of my day and help me deal with the circumstantial change that seemingly preys on each of us.

Choosing to wear a mask to the grocery store is an intentional change to cope with the circumstantial change of a global pandemic. You make that choice and protect your, and the people’s around you, personal health and safety. Continued sharing of educational resources and donating to organizations that support the social causes you believe in is an intentional change. You choose to do that, and with that decision, you are making a difference in the world. Everything about your life that you would not recognize a year ago is an intentional change, and each of those choices is important and valid and real.

Give yourself some credit. You’ve been through and grown so much in such a short amount of time. I am proud of you, and I hope you are proud of you too.