I've Got A Great Ass; Please Don't Tell Me About It
So I've got a great ass. It’s been many years in the making, but I gotta say, I’m very proud of it.
Though, even if I didn’t tell myself how impressive my butt is, I seem to have a constant reminder. Whether passing drivers as I walk to men who stand just too close to me in line to any gentleman who happens to be at the gas station when I pull up, men project their sexual frustration on me with their “damn girl” … or “damn mama” … or just a “damn”.
I usually just get home and masturbate when I get sexually frustrated instead of making someone uncomfortable or fear for their life, but that’s just me.
Beyond the fear triggered by an unsolicited comment, these words frighten women so much that we often avoid any male interactions we could be faced with. We deflect interactions with random men in hopes that these men will not pursue us. We walk down the streets with keys between our knuckles or pepper spray in our hands or a whistle on our keychain to alert the men around us that we know they are looking. In the end, we plan and spend most of our day hoping to decrease their chance for being sexually assaulted or harassed before (hopefully) making it home safe.
But you know who else this sucks for? Men – not boys, men.
From a girl’s point of view, it seems like the era of actual dates and courtships have come to an end and that all men are awful and want nothing but sex. I know this is not true, and I am still rooting for the good guys and gals to make their way to each other. From what I’ve seen, heard, and researched, this is what I’ve found in the “men’s attempts to find their soulmate” category.
Maybe, you jump onto Tinder and Bumble in hopes of finding the long term relationship, but you play it casual just to have the opportunity to meet someone. Maybe you attempt to hit on girls at a bar, but with the recent reality check of the #MeToo movement, you realize that trying to get with a drunk girl is not going to get you very far. Maybe you try a coworker, but please don’t try a coworker; women in the workplace are actually just there to work, just like you.
At the end of the day, women’s completely justified fear of being hurt or harassed along with the lack of opportunities to meet people without technology and alcohol completely diminishes the chances of anyone finding their true love in a random way.
Picture this:
You walk into your favorite coffee shop – because where else do millennials go nowadays – and out of the corner of your eye, you see her. There she is, sitting alone with her MacBook pro and headphones in, typing away as she sips on a ridiculously overpriced latte – seriously though, why can I not get a drink for less that $5. Anyways, she takes your breath away, and for some reason, your gut is telling you to finally do something about this feeling instead of standing silently and letting another one get away.
An opportune moment: she takes out her headphones. This is your chance.
You pay for your coffee, take a deep breath. Palms are sweating. Breath is hastening. This is you finally giving this a chance. You walk over with a sincerely friendly smile and say, “Hi”.
And she says, “Hi”, quickly and deflated. Or she looks at you and then looks away without a word. Or she ignores you. And here you are, scared and nervous out of your mind to even walk up to this girl, and she can’t even look at you and say hi?!
You wanna know why?
Because earlier that day, she had to get gas for her car, and the guy standing outside of the gas station yelled at her and tried to get her information without even saying “hi”.
Because earlier that day, she rode the Metro, and there was a guy sitting across the aisle from her jacking off while she tried to just look out the window and get to where she needed.
Because earlier today, as she walked to the coffee shop from wherever, a car drove past her filled with guys whistling and yelling and telling her about her fat ass and what they were going to do with it.
Because earlier today, a coworker who she has rejected advances from time and time again messaged her asking how her day was and what she was doing.
Because earlier today, an older gentleman put his hand on her lower back as he walked past her, and then he winked at her.
It’s not you. It’s not you at all. Please don’t be mad at her. Please do not make her feel bad. Please don’t become another one of the men that scare her on a daily basis. Please accept the no and move on.
You may be the guy of her dreams, but she is so used to being scared of every man she interacts with that she will chose to protect herself from getting hurt than even think about giving you a chance.
Because at the end of the day, we are all just looking for someone to help us feel happy and safe. Please help her find that person instead of giving her another reason to be afraid.
Best,
Lisa Rae Bowman