Make A Move Somewhere at Some Point

I moved to Brooklyn at the beginning of the month, and everything has changed. I am pursuing new career options. I am growing as an activist. I am in a new emotional place with someone unexpected. So much has changed in a short amount of time after so much had changed in such a short amount of time.

In trying to navigate this new physical and mental space, I’ve found myself stuck in my least favorite place: the in-between.

I hate being in between two people who cannot communicate for themselves. I struggle with being in between jobs and not having anything clear to work towards. I lack grace as I attempt to flow through the changing and growing of relationships that have no clear name.

I’m caught in the middle, and I hate it here.

In America, every single one of us is living in the biggest societal in betweens we’ve ever experienced. We are in the middle of what the pandemic has done and what our new normal will. We are in the middle of what this presidency has done to the state of our nation and how we will move forward. We are in the middle of what our racist past has done to us and the future of equality and justice we have to create.

Anyone else severely uncomfortable all of the time?

I am, and when I’m uncomfortable, I actively seek ways to find comfort or relief. I’ll read a book so I can learn about something I don’t know. I’ll reach out to someone who I feel can bring me perspective. I apologize and move forward from mistakes of present and past. I’ll take a break and turn off my phone to process. No matter if what I do helps how I’m feeling, I know I did something, and that is half of the battle.

It’s not easy to do that though. Being uncomfortable like this can logically paralyze us. Mental health can get bad or worse, and it will take time to fully recover. The lack of clarity and answers can overwhelm our search to find stable ground. However, getting up, drinking a glass of water, and writing 500 words of absolutely messy thoughts is a move and step out of the discomfort for just a moment. Every step is a move to something better, and I hope you give yourself credit for that.

Say you’re sorry. Read a book. Delete an app. Drink a glass of water. Call your friend. Cry. Do you, boo, but keep doing it.